Throughout February, we have been contemplating relationships; with ourselves, colleagues, teammates and others. Today, let’s explore healthy relationships with food. 

Food is more than just a basic physical necessity to survive. There are huge emotional and social elements wrapped up in food and eating. As such, food can become very important to many of us, both positively and negatively. For those being treated in hospital, diet and nutrition become even more important, not just for physical health but for mental health and wellbeing, too. 

Like all relationships, achieving and maintaining a healthy relationship with food isn’t achieved overnight, and will likely require ongoing work throughout a person’s lifetime. 

Firstly, it’s important to understand that our relationship with food goes deeper than fuelling our bodies. While animals eat solely for survival, as humans we eat to not only fuel ourselves but for a variety of other reasons. Food and eating are linked with celebrations and enjoyment, there are cultural and traditional reasons we eat and it is part of how we socialise. 

Before we can work toward a healthy relationship with food, it’s important to pinpoint the signs and symptoms of a bad relationship with food.

A good relationship with food is not related to the quality of diet or food we eat, but rather how and why those are chosen. Guilt, restricting or avoiding ‘bad’ foods, having long lists of rules surrounding the foods we can or cannot eat, relying on calorie counters or apps to tell us when we’re finished eating for the day instead of listening to our natural hunger cues, following diet fads, feeling stressed while eating in social settings and restricting or binging on food are all signs of an unhealthy relationship with food. 

We don’t have to experience all of these signs to have a bad relationship with food. Sometimes we might experience them transiently. This is normal. The goal of a good relationship with food is to have more positive experiences with food than negative ones. 

Healthy relationships with food involve welcoming all foods in moderation, eating foods that we enjoy, not allowing food to control our lives, and knowing that the foods we eat do not define our value as a person. Listening to our body’s natural hunger cues, eating the foods we enjoy, eating when we’re hungry and stopping when we’re full, not putting any foods as ‘off limits’ and enjoying all food in moderation are all signs of a good relationship with food. 

It’s not easy. Diet culture messaging in society is all around and it can be difficult to change our mindset from foods being ‘good’ and ‘bad’. We’re encouraged as children to ‘clean our plate’, but this tells us to ignore signs that we’re full and to keep eating. 

Diet culture has also taught us to rely on a number of calories to tell us when we should stop eating, instead of eating until we’re satisfied. Listening to natural hunger cues is better for regulating appetite and managing food intake. Being present while eating, or eating mindfully (ie, without the TV, phone, book etc distracting us) leads to greater enjoyment and being aware of whether we’re still hungry or full. 

Eating mindfully also helps us identify the reasons for our food choices. Are we eating because we’re hungry and will eat anything? Or do we want to eat that food because we think it will make us feel better emotionally or physically? Noticing the impact of the food we’re eating – am I enjoying it? Has it satisfied the craving? How do I feel emotionally as I’m eating this? Has it solved my problem like I thought it would? Was I actually hungry and if not, why did I decide to eat? Was I bored or sad, for example? 

Thinking about these things can help us identify why we choose food, and whether other healthy coping mechanisms could work better for us. 

Developing a good relationship with food takes time, patience, and kindness towards ourselves. Our relationship with food is complex and sometimes, additional support and guidance is needed. Dietitians and therapists can support in helping transform our relationship with food and overall health.